Zelda: Oracle of Items
by Chirpdee
Summary: Watch Link as he goes on a crazy adventure throughout many lands! He would succeed on his quest if people left his stuff alone...
1. The Gale Seeds are Misused

"Awwww crap… I'm stuck in another world… AGAIN… why me?" Link pondered this as he walked through the forest of Labrynna. "Just because I have a stupid triangle on the back of my hand doesn't mean I have to do all this retarded stuff!" He slouched over, then sat on a nearby rock. "OLLY OLLY OXEN FREE!!!" he called out. "Come out from hiding, you stupid fairies! I don't wanna play this idiotic game!"  
  
"NO!" yelled a small voice from the top of a tree. Link eyed the tree suspiciously. He jumped up and tried to catch the fairy inside. "Gotcha!" He looked into the palm of his hand and laughed. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha….haa?" It wasn't a fairy, it was a leaf! The fairy he was searching for was on the ground, looking at a bag of some sort.  
  
"Ooooooh… aaaaahhh…. HEY!! COME HERE GUYS!!!" yelled the fairy. "Lookie here… how pretty…" The fairy held up a blue seed. One of the other fairies said "Ohh!!! Lovely lovely seedy-poo!" The third fairy bounced up and down and said "Try it! Try it!" The first fairy picked up one of the seeds. "Should I really?" she asked. The other two fairies chanted: "Try it! Try it! Try it! Try it!" The fairy took the seed and held it to her mouth. "No…" said Link as the fairy popped the seed in her mouth. "Those are my Gale Seeds…."  
  
The fairy swelled to an enormous size. It looked like it was about to burst. "MmmammMMmm!?" mumbled the giant fairy. Everyone covered their ears. Then the fairy did something nobody would have expected.  
  
It let out a loud, giant, disgusting, smelly, belch.  
  
"NASTY, MAN!!" yelled Link. The fairies giggled. They each took a seed and shoved it down their throat. Each one got really blown up… then they all let out a huge horrible belch. "This is so fun!" yelled one fairy as it let out another burp. Link slapped his forehead and sat down on a rock. He then looked up and saw the fairies throwing seeds in each other's mouths, the fairies blowing up, and then letting out a nasty burp. He raised an eyebrow and then took the bag of seeds off the ground.  
  
The fairies then chucked in a evil manner, then slowly started flying toward Link. "Oh Link… why don't you try some?" They then ripped the bag from his hands, and shoved the remaining seeds down his throat. He showed no signs of changing. "It isn't working!" yelled a fairy. "No fair!" said another fairy. "Ha ha!" said Link. "It doesn't work on me!"  
  
Unfortunately, Link had spoken too soon. He then closed his eyes in fear of them flying out, and swelled up like a balloon. Strangely enough, he started floating like a balloon too! "Bye bye Link!" yelled the fairies. Link went up, up, up… out of the forest and towards the sea. When he was right over a sharp, pointy rock, he belched. 'What luck…' he thought. He then fell at a great speed towards the rock…and maybe… his doom… 


	2. The Harp of Ages is Stolen

Link shut his eyes and clenched his teeth, bracing himself for impact. What he found at the end of his fall was not his doom, but..  
  
"A Zora? You- you are a Zora?" asked Link. "Yep!" squealed the small fish- like creature. This Zora was so small you could have used him as an ottoman. "Why… how… did you save me?" questioned Link. "Easy!" said the small Zora. "I jumped up, you landed on my back, then I landed in the water with you on my back!" "And how did you go about doing that.. when you are so…erm… small?" The Zora then got teary eyed. "N-n-not you t-t-too… you *sniff* meanie! Everyone makes fun of m-m-my height!" The tiny Zora dived back into the water.  
  
"WAIT!" yelled Link. "I don't know how to swim!" The Zora popped his head out of the water and said in a childish voice, "Then what have you been doing for the past 15 minutes Mister 'I'm so tall?' Nyaaaaa!" With that, he stuck out his tongue and dove back into the water. "Why me…" pondered Link. "Why, why, why?!" The now annoying Zora surfaced again and asked Link an equally annoying question. "By the way, I have to charge you a savings fee."  
  
"I'm not at no bank, I don't need no savings fee…" said Link. "I need goggles! I need gills! I'm gonna sink and DIE for crying out loud! I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN FEE!" "Well… I saved you! So I need a savings fee!" The Zora then took it upon himself to take what he thought he needed. "I'll take… this!" he said as he stole Link's Harp of Ages. He then turned, went underwater, and swam away. "Hey! You little twirp! Come back…" Link tried to paddle, but then started to drown. Down, down he went.. down into the sea. When he opened his eyes, he was at the bottom of the sea.  
  
He tried to talk. "Blu blurb blub blub blurb!" muttered Link. He got up, and stood on the ocean floor. Then he saw an unusual sight. "Blub blurb?" It was a air vent! Bubbles were spewing out of a tiny crack on the ocean floor. If he could make it there in time, he could breathe in the bubbles to get air! Or maybe… he could float up on them! He paddled as fast he could near the bottom of the sea. He was almost depleted of oxygen by the time he got there. He stuck his face in a bubble and took a deep breath. Then he jumped into the air vent, and it took him up until he surfaced.  
  
"Well, now to find that stupid Zora." he said, then gasped. His voice was squeaky! He didn't inhale oxygen! He inhaled helium in those bubbles! "Crap!" he said in his now squeaky voice. He used the air vent to swim to shore, then ran into a cave. "I can't let anyone hear me!" he whispered. He sat there for a couple minutes, talking to himself to let him know when the effect passed. When it finally did, he stood up and walked deeper into the cave. He was curious of what was in it.  
  
"A chest!" He ran up to the wooden box and embraced it. Then he opened it. He opened his eyes wide. Whatever was inside, it certainly stunned him… 


End file.
